i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize