my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
