At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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