a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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