PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
