Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
