Whod you bang
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
