let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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