I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
