Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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