i was born a porn star she said
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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