Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
