genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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