he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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