"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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