I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
ttyl tear gas
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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