He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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