he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
