dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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