wrigley field is MILF paradise
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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