He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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