the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
