He uses pillows to masturbate.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
