How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....