Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober

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  (407): Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober http://tfl.nu/epi9
  Replies (19) Good night (841) Bad night (2625)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.

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  (+44): The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps. http://tfl.nu/azhr
  Replies (14) Good night (6738) Bad night (1391)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME

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  (503): I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME http://tfl.nu/s14f
  Replies (23) Good night (3577) Bad night (1463)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him

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  (256): There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him http://tfl.nu/3qir
  Replies (17) Good night (3677) Bad night (974)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal

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  (281): Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal http://tfl.nu/lnon
  Replies (20) Good night (3854) Bad night (970)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.

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  (817): He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms. http://tfl.nu/g9bp
  Replies (8) Good night (2505) Bad night (801)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip

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  (360): In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip http://tfl.nu/ivxr
  Replies (3) Good night (1874) Bad night (595)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%

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  (778): Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25% http://tfl.nu/4mvy
  Replies (5) Good night (1100) Bad night (564)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened

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  (505): I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened http://tfl.nu/wwzi
  Replies (9) Good night (523) Bad night (1196)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.

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  (617): my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store. http://tfl.nu/jy53
  Replies (3) Good night (1125) Bad night (583)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?

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  (808): wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke? http://tfl.nu/hs3o
  Replies (2) Good night (433) Bad night (498)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.

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  (864): Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol. http://tfl.nu/rl00
  Replies (1) Good night (557) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (341): View more from California

  I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.

  (341): View more from California

  But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade

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  (341): I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room. (341): But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade http://tfl.nu/5zu3
  Replies (13) Good night (766) Bad night (485)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  new district manager is here. you need to come in early

  (630): View more from Illinois

  5th mimosa says otherwise

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  (508): new district manager is here. you need to come in early (630): 5th mimosa says otherwise http://tfl.nu/fn9e
  Replies (1) Good night (838) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  These kind of text worry me.

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  (937): With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong. (1-937): These kind of text worry me. http://tfl.nu/ehdu
  Replies (2) Good night (367) Bad night (283)

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