Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(757): View more from Virginia

I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.

Fav 30 3957 1664
share tweet
(712): View more from Iowa

it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe

Fav 14 3945 1671
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(704): View more from North Carolina

Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?

Fav 11 4427 1394
share tweet
(843): View more from South Carolina

I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.

Fav 6 2961 1130
share tweet
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.

Fav 8 2580 1402
share tweet
(812): View more from Indiana

Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.

Fav 3 4279 1000
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.

Fav 6 1157 2448
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(850): View more from Florida

I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.

Fav 2 755 495
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to

Fav 0 81 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT