Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.

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(407): View more from Florida

I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"

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(419): View more from Ohio

Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(925): View more from California

They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.

(828): View more from North Carolina

Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner

(864): View more from South Carolina

Previous statement retracted.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..

(256): View more from Alabama

everythings easier when your wearing a toga.

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(416): View more from Toronto

arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?

(647): View more from Ontario

Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?

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