Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I wish I could punch you in the face.

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  (313): I wish I could punch you in the face. http://tfl.nu/jewc
  Replies (4) Good night (1557) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you

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  (817): Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/97p3
  Replies (16) Good night (1165) Bad night (4197)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.

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  (412): I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts. http://tfl.nu/rew4
  Replies (24) Good night (1048) Bad night (5513)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away

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  (404): hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away http://tfl.nu/s83j
  Replies (6) Good night (3957) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.

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  (803): It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina. http://tfl.nu/hg6l
  Replies (37) Good night (9488) Bad night (1328)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.

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  (920): I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night. http://tfl.nu/zpas
  Replies (11) Good night (3885) Bad night (2272)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.

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  (423): You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti. http://tfl.nu/u3mr
  Replies (2) Good night (1140) Bad night (2008)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.

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  (617): You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints. http://tfl.nu/h72d
  Replies (3) Good night (1700) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?

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  (203): Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high? http://tfl.nu/olxn
  Replies (8) Good night (895) Bad night (2381)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.

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  (864): I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out. http://tfl.nu/hn3q
  Replies (3) Good night (2082) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy

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  (214): And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy http://tfl.nu/y3l1
  Replies (15) Good night (2273) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.

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  (707): I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist. http://tfl.nu/o2an
  Replies (3) Good night (1020) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"

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  (865): He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore" http://tfl.nu/phr6
  Replies (2) Good night (652) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, where are you?

  (928): View more from Arizona

  In back

  (928): View more from Arizona

  of car

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  ... whose car?

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  (901): Dude, where are you? (928): In back (928): of car (901): ... whose car? http://tfl.nu/bog4
  Replies (0) Good night (674) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.

  (469): View more from Texas

  Tequila happens.

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  (214): We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night. (469): Tequila happens. http://tfl.nu/nyc9
  Replies (2) Good night (685) Bad night (360)

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