Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.