so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
