Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'

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  (847): just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame' http://tfl.nu/un7j
  Replies (16) Good night (4074) Bad night (4138)
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  (315): View more from New York

  just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again

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  (315): just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again http://tfl.nu/dkz6
  Replies (15) Good night (1184) Bad night (3985)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.

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  (509): I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120. http://tfl.nu/oklb
  Replies (19) Good night (1326) Bad night (5096)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'

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  (306): I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes' http://tfl.nu/oxkp
  Replies (9) Good night (7957) Bad night (1203)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I smell like Captain Morgan and tears

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  (860): I smell like Captain Morgan and tears http://tfl.nu/pqes
  Replies (11) Good night (1477) Bad night (2850)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.

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  (732): I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life. http://tfl.nu/df5q
  Replies (11) Good night (1146) Bad night (3274)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"

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  (+27): Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!" http://tfl.nu/eeqt
  Replies (15) Good night (4195) Bad night (990)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life

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  (412): And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life http://tfl.nu/4nsr
  Replies (6) Good night (980) Bad night (547)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead

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  (907): I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead http://tfl.nu/kczi
  Replies (4) Good night (984) Bad night (405)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.

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  (503): Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting. http://tfl.nu/qfm2
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (926)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.

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  (405): Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky. http://tfl.nu/1s85
  Replies (4) Good night (1173) Bad night (393)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.

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  (902): It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch. http://tfl.nu/pix9
  Replies (2) Good night (626) Bad night (388)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.

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  (616): Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning. http://tfl.nu/kfpq
  Replies (3) Good night (560) Bad night (360)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.

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  (740): The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams. http://tfl.nu/xq7x
  Replies (7) Good night (777) Bad night (274)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.

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  (336): I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls. http://tfl.nu/kn33
  Replies (1) Good night (327) Bad night (116)

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