I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize