Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I need water and some morals
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