Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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