She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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