I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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