I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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