he wants to bone in the snuggie
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
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i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
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I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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