I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The air taste purple.
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