I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
