just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
