Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
