im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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