i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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