So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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