Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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