She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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