can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
