whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
