GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
