there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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