and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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