I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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