He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
