I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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