how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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