I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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