Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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