Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(209): View more from California

AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.

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(209): AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now. http://tfl.nu/g0pf

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.

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(973): Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up. http://tfl.nu/7cla

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(519): View more from Ontario

dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way

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(519): dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way http://tfl.nu/6t17

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.

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(814): Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder. http://tfl.nu/vt5f

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(850): View more from Florida

She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever

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(850): She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever http://tfl.nu/uwj0

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here

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(859): Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here http://tfl.nu/kvme

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(910): View more from North Carolina

whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes

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(910): whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes http://tfl.nu/crfp

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(303): View more from Colorado

But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.

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(303): But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you. http://tfl.nu/unr3

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(937): View more from Ohio

All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely

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(937): All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely http://tfl.nu/gogl

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.

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(501): Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/ddwi

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(+61): View more from Australia

Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.

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(+61): Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking. http://tfl.nu/00hi

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(308): View more from Nebraska

is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...

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(308): is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night... http://tfl.nu/up0o

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(304): View more from West Virginia

My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.

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(304): My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point. http://tfl.nu/bf1e

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(518): View more from New York

I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants

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(518): I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants http://tfl.nu/tuxk

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(859): View more from Kentucky

When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"

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(859): When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs" http://tfl.nu/jaco

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