i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
