some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We left an ass print on the piano.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
