The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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