we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Are we still banned from the library?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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