Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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