therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
