Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
dude i'm inner monologue high
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
