I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
