i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
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You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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